| 002; ballbusting is en vogue this season. |
[28 Mar 2010|03:40pm] |
What has two thumbs and is the head of her very own hit squad? That would be me. Just received the owl and now I plan to do something revolutionary: my job. I haven't the faintest clue when we all decided that we were just going to dick around at the Ministry. I never received the memo and as a result I have been left frustrated and carrying a work load that I cannot actually physically carry as it weighs more than I do. All that is about to change though because now? Interviews will be done properly. Arrests will be made. Investigations will be launched. If I'm to be the head of magical law enforcement by the time I am 35 I better start making an impression, yes?
I wonder if Mister Cuffe would like a new job...
Anyhow, I believe celebration is in order and my favorite way to celebrate is to cause trouble have a night on the town. Friday's adventure was lovely. I encountered a bloke who was particularly taken with Freud's theories regarding penis envy. Apparently there was a belief that women actually harbored ill-will towards men because they had penises unlike themselves. The only thing I envy about men and their penises is that they can take a piss standing up.
|
|
| 001; you're so vain i bet you think this... |
[15 Feb 2010|11:28pm] |
What is it about boys and using their wands as toys? At least when I'm having fun and I make a mess I clean up after myself. Now I'm just in a mood and I had to cancel my massage which is a right shame because that fellow is just ever so fit. If you are a member of these Order vigilantes or masked Death Eaters please do go sod off immediately and make your Gringott notes payable to Miss Amelia Bones, memo: apologies for forcing you to forfeit your appointment for your massage.
In other news I'm considering putting in a bid to head my own hit wizard squad. After two years with Runcorn above me I've come to believe that any dolt with decent aim can command their very own company of witches and wizards. My only reservation is that my team would die of shock after experiencing competent leadership. Productivity would double, gallons would be saved, and perhaps then I'd be able to hold my bloody massage appointments. No, I am most certainly putting in a bid.
And so help me if I don't get to have my time at the shooting range I am going to start my own "riot."
|
|
| amelia's worst memory |
[05 Feb 2010|10:13pm] |
Her temper flared. She couldn't help it. It just did. He wasn't helping. His hand gripping her wrist wasn't helping either. It wasn't very dignified but he was hurting her and she wanted to hurt him back and since she didn't have her wand and she had already exhausted her vocabulary of vulgar insults she slapped him hard across the face. "Excuse you! You're hurting me and if this is part of your campaign to domesticate me then you're doing a fucking lousy job of it, pig." He loosened his grip on her wrist and she pulled it back and immediately reached for her wand shoving it against his neck. "What are you doing Meel?" he asked.
"Don't call me Meel, and I'm doing what my brothers would do. I'm saving them the time because apparently they are the only men in the world who were raised properly and if that's the case I do not want them wasting their time on an arse like you." He rolled his eyes which only made Amelia more indignant. What, did he think it was a joke? A game? That she wasn't serious? "You're not going to hurt me," he scoffed. Amelia stamped down on his foot and hard at that, letting out an angry yelp in the process. "It's not the 50s anymore! Wake up, prat. I can do whatever I want. I'm twice the witch that you are a wizard. You will be forgotten, you're a dime a dozen. I don't need you. I'm peachy all on my own."
She was about to eat her words but it would be the last time that would ever happen. She really didn't expect him to hit her like he did. Hitting really seemed barbaric in the situation, but later she would lay in bed and think to herself that she was wrong to expect special treatment. She said she wanted to be equal but she didn't want to be treated like a man. No, from this moment on she would consider herself and everyone else in the world capable of anything. He punched her square in the face and petite witch that she was, Amelia fell down hard and much to her shame began to cry.
"Get out of my house! Get out!" He grabbed her by the crown of her hair and lifted her and the shock was taking a toll. She had never been treated like this. Never been touched like this. It was a totally foreign experience to her and she was helpless for those few minutes, like a rag doll, not scared necessarily. Paralyzed by rage was more accurate. She knew she could bring out the worst in people. She knew she had a sharp tongue but this was unheard of. She didn't feel pain. The rest of the choking and the hitting was more a blow to her ego than an actual blow to her face.
Things slowed down. She stayed still. Everything went slow. She blinked and suddenly it occurred to her maybe she was hurt and maybe she was surprised and angry but she could deal with that later. Right now she was going to take care of herself and in a few weeks this would just be a memory. She kneed him. Bit him. Hexed him. Kicked him while he was down and to add insult to his injuries she put him out in a public park in his undergarments. Amelia Bones had no need for men in her life. She had no interest in being anyone's wife. She didn't want to be tied down to any one place or person and she didn't want to be told what to do. She was going to tell people what to do, and she was going to bring order to a mess that a bunch of men had made. That was all there was to do and so she was going to do it.
|
|
![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}